Disclaimer: I am NOT a movie person. I repeat, I am NOT a movie person! I think it drives Adam crazy because he loves movies, but they can’t keep my attention anymore. In fact, my movie-dislike has become so pervasive I only watch a movie every month or so in the theatres for date nights. One of the more recent movies we watched was the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie, and even though Groot was adorable I kept nodding off. No, it’s not narcolepsy. Maybe it’s pessimism, but it’s rare to come across original and creative movies anymore. My least favorite are scary movies — not because I get scared, but but because they always have pointless and predictable plots. My opinion of scary movies has morphed into how I feel about all movie genres now. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again — I am a tv show girl through and through!

With that being said, it’s kind of ironic that I’m about to write a movie review, but my hope is that it’ll offer a different perspective than others out there. When I was a little girl, a Walk to Remember was my favorite chick flick. Fast forward 10 years, and now one of my favorite TV shows is This is Us. It was fascinating to witness Mandy Moore’s acting evolution from the sweet and innocent teenager to the hardworking, remarried mother-of-triplets later on in her career.

Mandy-moore-05

One of the main reasons I was so disappointed with the movie, 47 Meters Down (about 154 feet for those of you that are wondering), was it did not showcase Mandy’s true talent. It was a role more suited for an amateur trying desperately to make their big break in Hollywood. The casting directors aimed high by selecting Mandy Moore, but she should have turned down the role. Claire Holt from Vampire Diaries, a show I faithfully binge-watched in college, was much more fitting for her role. (Side note: I think being a casting director would be one of the coolest jobs out there!)

Usually, I wouldn’t want to spoil the movie, but I hope you never watch it after reading what I have to say. In reality, there’s really not much to spoil though. The movie was exactly what the trailer depicted: Two girls forget all of their common sense, agree to shark dive after meeting two random men in Mexico, fall to the bottom of the ocean, and attempt to fight off sharks in order to survive. Enough about that. It’s time to get into the nitty gritty.

  1. I disliked that the whole reason behind the sisters shark diving was to spite Lisa’s ex-boyfriend, Stuart, because he claimed she was too boring. Now, I’m sure all women can relate to this somewhat, but I didn’t like the way it stereotyped women in breakups. Stuart Little just wasn’t that into her!
  2. Why did they put Claire Holt in bikini bottoms and Mandy not? Was that supposed to symbolize Claire being “fun” and Mandy not? I did reach the conclusion that wetsuits are definitely not flattering on anyone, not even celebrities!
  3. Ok, costume designers. Please enlighten me on why in the world you’d place a nice watch on Lisa when she’s about to be submerged in the ocean! Not only that, but she didn’t take the watch off when she climbed in the cage. Are you kidding me? I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she was so scared she forgot she was wearing it.
  4. There wasn’t much shark action! The whole reason I wanted to see the movie was to see some amazing special effects. There was one point during the movie where the shark didn’t even look real to me.
  5. The girls in the movie were so skinny they could squeeze through the bar of the cage (probably from all the scuba diving training they had to do in preparation for the movie), yet they were able to lift the stuck door against all the water pressure. Maybe it was an adrenaline rush, but it still wasn’t very realistic.
  6. This movie had one of the worst cop-out endings I’ve ever seen! If the writers were smart (which clearly they weren’t), the movie would have ended once the two girls were pulled up onto the boat. Even though they had sustained some injuries, it appeared like they would survive. However, turns out that “ending” was a hallucination Mandy was having as a result of nitrogen narcosis. (Fun fact: Nitrogen narcosis is also referred to as “the martini effect” because it can be compared to feeling intoxicated). The credits started rolling, and we didn’t even know if her sister made it! I guess I should have been pleased the whole movie wasn’t simply a delusion, but the ending was my final straw. If I had been holding a bucket of popcorn, I would have thrown it up in the air in despair!

Despite all the critiques that swam around in my head during the movie, I couldn’t help but think about what I would do if I was in their shoes, er, fins. I have no sense of direction in my own town, let alone in the deep depths of the ocean! Everything looks the same down there. It’s not like you can see Four Peaks in the distance and know that you are heading northeast. I think it would have been smart if the people in the boat dumped some chum a mile away from the cage to draw the sharks away. Then, we would hopefully have time to swim up to the top. It would have to be timed just right. Not too fast to result in nitrogen narcosis, but not too slow to run out of air (which I imagine would have been a lot quicker than in the movie). I also imagine any legitimate shark diving operation would have the divers wearing shark shields as well which defer sharks by sending out electromagnetic waves. I still don’t think one little pulse could deter a hungry shark, but it would be better than nothing!

What is also interesting to think about is the movie set; most of the movie was filmed in a underwater studio similar to the one illustrated below. I would love to get the behind-the-scenes look at how they film movies that require so many special effects. For 47 Meters Down, they added tiny pieces of broccoli to the water to make it look more like an ocean.

ustudio01.jpg.crop_display

All in all, I would rate this movie a 5/10, and Adam gave it a whopping 3. Yikes. Lisa and Kate weren’t the only ones running out of air in this wannabe thriller, as the movie sucked the life out of us. Cinemark should have offered some complimentary oxygen tanks. I had hopes that the movie would be a perfect, large cannon ball, but in reality, it was one massive, messy belly flop.

If you saw this movie, what were your thoughts? I would love to hear people share their experiences of shark diving or any close encounters they may have had with sharks.

The Blog Has Spoken.