Since almost a majority of U.S. citizens own a dog, that has to be America’s most common pet, right? Wrong! There’s a different creature living in every single American household, and it goes by the name of Peeve. Let me warn you though. My pet Peeve is like dangerous, and you better not like start like petting it, or it could like hurt you. (See, that was a pet peeve right there). Now, this nuisance of a beast boasts 25 different personalities. This is the type of case psychologists dream of. Let me introduce you to each one…
- Identity Thief – I know your children mean the world to you, and they should. However, they do not need to make up your whole life, nor change your identity. I never get to see some of my friends on social media because their profile pictures, cover photos, and every other post is of their children. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting updates about your adorable kids, but you have an identity besides your children. Not only that, but it can be a little confusing when it looks like a 12 month old baby is posting pictures of him/her self with your name.
- Pit Stopper – When we go four-wheeling, I hate stopping every 10 minutes. It’s not like we need to drink water in this 100 degree weather. Just kidding, that’s what Camelbacks are for (or the High Sierra backpack at Costco for those who don’t have as much money). I don’t spend an hour getting ready, 30 minutes loading up, and 45 minutes driving out to the best riding spots just to stop every 10 minutes. Let’s go!
- Repetitive Radio – Stop playing the same songs again and again. Paparazzi by Lady Gaga wasn’t even good when it was released 10 years ago! Not only that, but stop advertising so much! This is actually one of the main reasons I became a fan of country music. I would scan through the stations, and country songs were the only ones playing. No wonder hardly anyone has radios in their homes anymore. It’s surprising local radio stations even have a following anymore with amazing apps like Pandora and Spotify.
- Not all Dogs are Puppies – To me, puppies are under one-year-old; they still fall into the cute, tiny, and irresistible stage. The dictionary agrees with me. Sorry to break it to you, but the dog you’ve had for five years is no longer your puppy.
- Snapchat Snafus – First, what is the point in sending an individual person a picture and then posting the same picture on your story? Is your picture really that important? If it is, you might as well post it on another social media outlet. Pick one, but please do not do both. What’s even more annoying is when people attend a concert and decide to record the entire concert for the world to see. I seriously almost debated deleting this app for this reason. I don’t care if you post a video of one of your favorite songs, but come on! Enjoy the concert instead of worrying about recording everything, so the world thinks you’re “cool”.
- Hashtag Syndrome – #I #know #people #want #to #gain #followers #and #more #likes #butisthisreallynecessary. People that wait and post all of their hashtags in a comment below are a little better. If you are going to put a gazillion hashtags, at least make them funny. Seeing so many hashtags cries desperation to me.
- Misspelling Misfit – Brittany. Brittney. Britni. I get it. There are a lot of us out there. (There could have been one less if my parents had just named me Montana instead). I understand people will misspell my name, and that’s fine. It’s not fine, however, when people write on my Facebook wall and spell my name wrong. My name is right there!
- Sunglass Shade – Unless you have a medical condition, do not wear your sunglasses inside! It’s weird. It’s unnecessary. You are definitely not making a fashion statement. I still remember when my boyfriend at the time wore his black shades during his high school graduation, and I was mortified. It’s no wonder our relationship ended soon after.
- Auto Receptionist – This is one of the most prominent personalities. If an interactive voice response system was actually a person, I would punch them. I’m sure everyone has experienced calling a 1-800 number, and all you want to do is speak to a representative. However, you are forced to go through numerous prompts and repeat yourself ten times.
- Sauce Thief – Many of you probably know by now that Taco Bell holds a piece of my heart (and my love handles). Taco Bell isn’t the only offender though. So many times when I’ve gone to a fast food joint and am asked, “How much sauce do you want?” I then proceed to say, “a lot of hot and mild please”. Now, I know that “a lot” is a subjective term, but it is most definitely not three. I want some food to go with my sauce, people!
- Price Perpetrator – When restaurants don’t display their prices on their online menus, that is a dead giveaway: the restaurant is expensive. It really bugs me because who truly knows what “$” and “$$” mean on Yelp. I want to see for myself! What’s “$” for some person might really be “$$” for me!
- Rack Digger – As mentioned in one of my recent posts, I’m not a girly girl. It should come as no surprise then that shopping is not always my cup-of-tea. One of the things I hate is digging through racks at department stores especially when they are not organized by size. Maybe some of this traces back to my days of working at JcPenney. When your shift ends and your hands are black, you know you’ve touched too many dirty hangers. It takes the term “hands-on” job to a whole new level.
- Voicemail Villain – “So…. Umm… My name is Billy. So call me back.” What in the world is this? Parents, please teach your children how to leave proper voicemails! I stumbled across way too much of this when I worked at a call center, and it was aggravating to play connect-the-dots and figure out who the person was. Voicemail Etiquette 101 states you always leave your full name, reason for calling, and the number you can be reached at. It’s not that difficult.
- Conversation Killer – “Yes”. “No”. “Idk”. “K”. Any of these texting replies are an immediate way to end a conversation. I remember a couple of guys I liked in college that would text like this, and I instantly knew they were not keepers. The whole point of texting is to engage with people (this may come as shocking to baby boomers), so one-syllable replies are not sufficient.
- Emphasis Abuser – “The wedding will be held on January 6, 2018 at CANYON Lake, AZ, not the one in Texas.” Whoa there — going a little overboard on the extra Word functions. Maybe to some people it’s a form of art, who knows.
- Compliment Returner – Returning a sincere compliment with an insincere one is not okay. I can’t recount all the times I’ve heard a woman say something along the lines of, “I love your necklace”, and then the other party instantly feels like they have to say something nice too. On the spot, they immediately say, “I like your shirt. Where did you get it?” Don’t be fake! It’s okay to reply with a simple “thank you” and a smile.
- Lip Chapper – Sadly, my obituary someday is going to read, “died of chapped lips”. Adam makes fun of me and compares me to Napoleon Dynamite (I was never a fan of that movie, by the way). Just writing this section makes me feel like I need to put chapstick on. *Coughgreatstockingstuffercough*
- Vacuum Villain – Yes, I know restaurants are required to pass healthy and safety inspections. Yes, I know employees want to be able to leave as quickly as possible after the restaurant closes. I just find it unpleasant when waiters start vacuuming around me while I’m trying to eat. If I wanted to be reminded the floor was dirty and needed to be cleaned, I would have just eaten at home. In my opinion, a restaurant’s ambiance is supposed to be peaceful and not full of the annoying hum of a vacuum.
- Small Talker – “Hi, how are you doing today?” “Actually not so good, I got in a car crash this morning.” “Great, glad to hear it,” the first person would say as they sauntered off, not really caring how the other person was doing. If that’s the case, why did you ask in the first place? It may come across as rude, but I’ve stopped asking strangers this. There’s no point. I will only ask someone this if I really care and will listen to their response. I advise you to do the same.
- Pretentious Namer – “My fiancé and I are going to dinner tonight.” “My boyfriend loves watching the Arizona Cardinals.” Why do people post Facebook statuses like this? Anyone who is my friend on Facebook should know that Adam is my fiancé, or they should be able to put two-and-two together. Their parents didn’t give them a name for no reason!
- Fingernail Freak – I once worked with a man who had longer fingernails than me. That’s definitely breaking the secret man code. If gives me the “heebie-jeebies” just thinking about it. The image of this nails will forever be stuck in my memory.
- Fitting Room Furnace – Trying on clothes at stores is not my favorite. The lighting always seems to be unflattering. What makes it even worse is fitting rooms tend to be so hot! I don’t want to be sweating while I try on clothes, and I know the person after me really doesn’t want to try on clothes someone else sweated in. I strongly believe every fitting room should have a mini-fan in there in order to keep customers happy and lead them to potentially buy more.
- Median Monster – What’s the point of medians? Occasionally I see ones that have pretty landscaping, but usually they are such a pain. You can’t turn when you want which forces you to make u-turns.
- Opening Straws – I’m not sure why, but every time I try to open up a straw, I immediately catch a ride on the struggle bus. I am like one of those people that opens up presents on Christmas by tearing off a million different wrapping paper pieces instead of just one big swoop.
- Automatic Dispensers – Water, soap, paper towel dispensers – you name it. They never to seem to work for me! I understand how they are supposed to be more hygienic, but sometimes they are more trouble than it’s worth. Now that I think about it though, I still prefer the automatic ones to the ones where you press down on the handle, and the water only stays on for five seconds.
What about you? Are you guilty of one or more of the pet peeves listed above? Which pet peeve annoys you the most? Are there any you think should have made this list?
The Blog Has Spoken.